Five Tips to Help Your Children Love One Another

My three children have a number of years between them. Six and a half years separates my first from my second; the third one came seven and half years later. People used to comment that with the age spread, I probably would not have too many occurrences of them not getting along. Wrong! Since we homeschooled, they had plenty of opportunity to get on each other’s nerves and irritate one another.

My husband and I resolved to apply Biblical law to the predictable outbursts of fighting and disagreement. However, first, we had to examine our own thinking to make sure that we were working out of a Biblical worldview rather than expediency. It would have been easy to yell at them and tell them to knock it off, but if we wanted to see godly change, we would have to apply godly discipline and instruction.

Here are a few of the Scripture passages we utilized along with a bit of commentary:

Love Your Neighbor

"The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31

We pointed out that brothers and sisters qualified as neighbors and that this second of the two great commandments came after loving God with all we had and were.

Do Not Provoke to Anger

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4

We pointed out that if fathers were not to provoke children to anger, certainly brothers and sisters should not provoke each other. Here is an example of what applies to the greater also applies to the lesser.


Love with Brotherly Affection

"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Romans 12:10

We encouraged them to make their behavior their priority, being less concerned about how they were being treated.



Making Things Right is a Priority

"So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:23-24

We pointed out that there was a necessity to make things right between brothers and sisters. God calls us to be right with one another before we make any offerings to Him.


Forgive as We Are Forgiven

"Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." Matthew 6:12

I realize that more often than not, the word “debts” is used. However, for parenting purposes and family life in general, the word trespass is more to the point. Live with people in close quarters (home, bedroom, sometime a bed) and there are bound to be conflicts. Keeping short accounts is mandatory for a peaceful home life.

What is interesting about this list is that it also works for married couples and people who interact with each other in day-to-day life. It is just that the home is the best place to teach these lessons, because there will be plenty of opportunity and plenty of practice!


This originally appeared at


Andrea Schwartz

Andrea Schwartz has been active as a home educator since 1983, and has successfully educated her three children through high school. She has written five books: Lessons Learned from Years of Homeschooling, The Homeschool Life, The Biblical Trustee Family, Woman of the House, & A House for God. She also has written two children's books for families to read together: Teach Me While My Heart is Tender: Real-Aloud Stories of Repentance and Forgiveness and Family Matters: Read-Aloud Stories of Responsibility and Self-Discipline.

Her website is a useful site for homeschooling families, and she is a regular contributor to the Chalcedon publication, Faith for All of Life. Andrea is a sought after public speaking and writing instructor, as well as a guest speaker for Christian schools, homeschooling support groups, and introductory seminars on homeschooling. She resides in San Jose, CA with her husband of 40 years. She can be contacted at

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