New ‘Pagan Go’ App Not As Successful As Pokemon Go

Pietist Peter comments
| Satire

UNITED STATES - Nintendo and Niantic, Inc together launched a new mobile game last week, Pokémon GO which has taken the world by storm. All those who previously mocked Pokémon players (and watchers) are now participating in the (pocket) monster madness.

Not wanting to miss out on an opportunity to Christianize another trend, faithful developer Coders for Christ launched their own app called Pagan GO. The app, much like Pokémon Go, uses the now popular augmented reality, allowing the user to look at the world through their camera, with added graphics.

Pagan Go has a simple purpose: to point out the location of any nearby pagans, which can then be engaged with a tract, or other apologetic method (except presup, that's just mean).

Unfortunately, the Christians in this country would not be easily distracted from their wicked occult revelry. Downloads have barely reached 1,000 and are believed to be primarily from the parents and friends of the Coders for Christ's developers.

In an ironic twist, members of the Westboro Baptist Church were eager to use the newfound resource to help point out new possible local spots to protest, but were befuddled when the app kept pointing out people in their congregation. Assuming it was a glitch, they promptly deleted the app and went back to their coven.


Due to a lack of support by the Christian community, the developers have ceased work on the latest add-on which would point out where, nearby, innocent babies were being murdered.


Pietist Peter

This world is not my home, I'm just a passin' through.